Avoid the imperative
Although on the surface it may not look like it, there’s a stark difference between ‘could you do this’ and ‘do this please’.
‘Could you do this ‘ is actually taking the person’s time and opinion into account. ‘Do this please’, being an imperative, doesn’t. So even though you are using what should be polite language with ‘please’, you can still sound bossy.
If you use this enough, you gain a reputation for being bossy, a reputation that can lead to disobedience on behalf of the people you are requesting do something. My advice is to avoid the imperative as much as you can, and show that you care enough to take the other person’s time and opinion into account.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I’m Tim Bunting AKA the Kiwi Yamabushi, a New Zealander who became a Yamabushi Ascetic in the Dewa Sanzan mountains of north Japan. I’m part of the Yamabushido team, and we host life-altering Yamabushi training on the Dewa Sanzan (website link). People come to us for the ultimate mindfulness experience, to reach the next level, or simply connect with nature and themselves.
I’m on a mission to summit all 100 Famous Mountains of Yamagata Prefecture to spread the splendour of this fabulous location, and in dedication to all those who lost their lives out in nature, including my father.
On my daily blog I post thoughts of a practicing Yamabushi that I hope people can use to better themselves and live as fulfilling a life as possible.
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