Use your backbone

High in agreeableness means easy to be taken advantage of. Your worst fear is people who are unhappy with the situation, or situations where people don’t feel accepted or they feel disappointed.

But you have to remember that your presence alone at times can be offensive to people, let your opinions. What’s the alternative? Shut up and let people walk all over you? Not on my watch.

That’s why it’s important to practice letting people down. That’s why you need a backbone, and to use it every once in a while. I think I’m a good listener, but I think part of that is because I’m so agreeable.

I remember thinking at least once that something was wrong, that if someone didn’t change or didn’t have a realization, then things wouldn’t get better. But at the same time I thought that person would realise it sooner or later. No. Use your backbone and let them know straight up. They aren’t mind readers, and if they were they’d take advantage of the situation, it’s only natural.

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Sakata City, Yamagata, Japan 

tim@timbunting.com

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