Confrontation looked down on? Check. Large-scale acquiescence? Check. Japan’s culture makes it easy for control freaks to take control. I feel that part of Japanese culture is knowing when not to take advantage of other people, a bit of self-constraint. But sometimes, for some people, that’s just not possible. Giving them free-reign to do so means they just take advantage of you, it’s one of the disadvantages of being a nice guy. You leave yourself open for being used.

The best control freaks are able to do so without your knowledge. Their influence seeps into your veins, controlling your every move without you even realising it. That’s why it’s so hard to know when you are under their spell. So, what to do when you have a realisation that you are being used like this? What is the ‘proper’ course of action?

Stand up for yourself. Call them out. Don’t just lie there like a sitting duck. But always remember to focus on the argument, never the person. Especially with control freaks, if you focus on the person, it will get them riled up, and when you’re riled up it’s impossible to change.

Stay calm, voice your concerns in a calm manner. Take your time when you do so too. Organise your arguments, and you’ll be fine. In the worse-case scenario, you don’t need to be with them. You can leave. Then the onus is on them to change.