Don’t confuse agreeableness with shyness
To think is to have an opinion, and to have an opinion is to offend someone. And if you’re anything like me, and you’re at the ‘a’ on the agreeableness scale, it takes a lot of practice just to get your opinion out sometimes.
Personally, I find it really difficult to show disagreement with people (I also really hope I’m not misconstruing this scale), and I naturally want people to not necessarily agree with me, but stay on good terms.
However, sometimes this can be a real disadvantage. Sometimes you want so much not to offend people that you shut up or give non answers. In these cases, it might just be that you’re using your agreeableness as an excuse not to let your feelings known. In other words, you’re letting your shyness get the better of you.
For agreeable people especially, never hesitate to share your opinion out of fear of offending someone (unless it is actually harmful), because in most cases, you probably will anyway. To speak an opinion is to offend someone, to have an opinion and not speak it is a waste of human potential. Your opinion could tip the balance of a decision that has major implications for the future, so it helps if you can say it well. Just don’t let your shyness get the better of you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I’m Tim Bunting AKA the Kiwi Yamabushi, a New Zealander who became a Yamabushi Ascetic in the Dewa Sanzan mountains of north Japan. I’m part of the Yamabushido team, and we host life-altering Yamabushi training on the Dewa Sanzan (website link). People come to us for the ultimate mindfulness experience, to reach the next level, or simply connect with nature and themselves.
I’m on a mission to summit all 100 Famous Mountains of Yamagata Prefecture to spread the splendour of this fabulous location, and in dedication to all those who lost their lives out in nature, including my father.
On my daily blog I post thoughts of a practicing Yamabushi that I hope people can use to better themselves and live as fulfilling a life as possible.
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