TIM BUNTING

KIWI YAMABUSHI

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It’s not something I have to worry about

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Sometimes it’s hard to emphasise with someone if you simply don’t have the experience. So when they repeatedly choose you as a complaining board it can be frustrating for you to have to listen to.

But if someone straight up says ‘it’s not something I have to worry about’, it shows a complete lack of empathy. Sure you may not be able to empathise with them completely, but you are at least able to listen to them. If they don’t take your advice after that, then that’s on them.

There are a few issues in my life I am certain other people haven’t had to deal with. And let me tell you, when you meet people who have had the experience, their perspective feels like it’s coming straight from the mouth of god.

Depending on the issue though, such people can be all but impossible to find (in my experience at least). In that case ‘it’s not something I have to worry about’ feels like you’re getting the cold shoulder.

Just listen. That’s enough. Provide perspective where you can. Even better is to introduce people with the same experience, but either way, just listen.

Honestly though, really think about the other person’s situation when you go to them. In certain cases, that you’re able to complain about things may be coming from a position the other person hasn’t had the chance to experience, and can actually come across as a brag. In these cases, you really shouldn’t be offended when they say ‘it’s not something I have to worry about’.

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Tim Bunting Kiwi Yamabushi

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Sakata City, Yamagata, Japan 

tim@timbunting.com

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